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  • dustyswan 12:06 am on December 5, 2009 Permalink | Reply
    Tags: Top Search for Beauty Issue   

    Top Search for Beauty Issue 

    Pada awalnya saya membuat blog ini untuk menggugah kesadaran perempuan terhadap isu kecantikan beserta industrinya. Karena industri kecantikan bernilai sangat besar  seiring dengan terbukanya akses terhadap media yang menciptakan ‘snow white-like images’ pada wanita di hampir seluruh dunia.Industri kecantikan sangat menguntungkan di satu pihak (tentunya pengusaha) dan korban yang tidak sedikit di sisi konsumen.

    Setelah beberapa bulan saya menjalankan blog ini, saya perhatikan kesadaran perempuan terhadap isu kesehatan yang terkait dengan kecantikan sudah mulai meningkat. Perempuan lebih kritis untuk memilih produk-produk kecantikan dari sisi legal, fungsi dan efeknya bagi kesehatan. Namun tidak sedikit juga perempuan yang masih mencari-cari cara yang instan untuk cantik dengan cara suntik silikon, suntik putih, bleaching instan, dll.

    Terlepas dari dua kutub yang saling berlawanan di atas ‘yang kritis dan yang ceroboh’ – perempuan tetap saja belum berhenti berkhayal jadi putri yang cantik dan jadi pujaan semua laki-laki. Benarkah ?

    Inilah daftar yang paling dicari di blog ini selama 2-3 bulan :

    w-ii navores 212
    w ii navores 186
    navores 155
    navores whitening cream 111
    wii navores 78
    pemutih ketiak 77
    kosmetik beracun 74
    bedah vagina 60
    w-11 navores 59
    operasi plastik 57
    kosmetik berbahaya 55
    lipstik berbahaya 50
    mascara berbahaya 50
    krim malam 49
    pencemaran pestisida 48
    kosmetik 43
    plastic surgery disasters 39
    ponds berbahaya 38
    too much makeup 35
    operasi plastik michael jackson 32
    krim malam yang bagus 29
    kantung mata 29
    navores whitening 29
    kosmetik palsu 29
    pubic 28
    worst cosmetics 27

    (tidak semua dimasukkan, karena terlalu panjang…)

    Isu pemutih ternyata masih menjadi top search sejak blog ini dipublish. Tidak heran kalau bisnis pemutih jadi bisnis bernilai ratusan miliar dollar di dunia.

    Walaupun belum pernah terjadi perempuan menjadi putih permanen -secara sehat lho!- karena menggunakan produk tertentu, tetap saja produk pemutih laku berat di pasaran.

    Menurut saya isu pemutih kulit bukan sekedar isu kecantikan tapi menyangkut isu budaya dan  Body Image. Ini tentang bagaimana cara perempuan mencitrakan dirinya. Kalau saya menganggap kulit sawo matang itu cantik, saya gak perlu buang duit beli pemutih kan ? Jadi, apakah perempuan menganggap dirinya kurang bening ? kurang langsing ? kurang mulus ? kurang cantik ?

    Wise Quote :

    Ladies, You are fearfully and wonderfully made. For you are my treasured possession. (From God Almighty 🙂 )

    Aku bersyukur kepada-Mu oleh karena kejadianku dahsyat dan ajaib; ajaib apa yang Kaubuat, dan jiwaku benar-benar menyadarinya.

  • dustyswan 8:38 am on October 30, 2009 Permalink | Reply
    Tags: hati sumber kehidupan, isi hati, jagalah hati, quote tentang hati   

    Quote about "Hati" 

    Jagalah hatimu dengan segala kewaspadaan, karena dari situlah terpancar kehidupan.

    “Jiwa yang hancur; hati yang patah dan remuk tidak akan Kaupandang hina, ya Allah…”

    “Ajarlah kami menghitung hari-hari kami sedemikian, hingga kami beroleh hati yang bijaksana.”

    “Orang yang bijak hati disebut berpengertian, dan berbicara manis lebih dapat meyakinkan.”

    “Hati orang bijak menjadikan mulutnya berakal budi, dan menjadikan bibirnya lebih dapat meyakinkan.”

    “Perkataan yang menyenangkan adalah seperti sarang madu, manis bagi hati dan obat bagi tulang-tulang.”

    “Hati yang gembira adalah obat yang manjur, tetapi semangat yang patah mengeringkan tulang.”

    “Karena sakit hati mengidaplah mataku, meranalah jiwa dan tubuhku…”

    “Berhentilah marah dan tinggalkanlah panas hati itu, jangan marah, itu hanya membawa kepada kejahatan.”

    “Kekuatiran dalam hati membungkukkan orang, tetapi perkataan yang baik menggembirakan dia.”

    “Perempuan yang baik hati beroleh hormat…”

    “Hati yang tenang menyegarkan tubuh, tetapi iri hati membusukkan tulang.”

    “Hikmat tinggal di dalam hati orang yang berpengertian, tetapi tidak dikenal di dalam hati orang bebal.”

    “Hati yang gembira membuat muka berseri-seri, tetapi kepedihan hati mematahkan semangat.”

    “Hati orang berpengertian mencari pengetahuan, tetapi mulut orang bebal sibuk dengan kebodohan.”

    “Bibir orang bijak menaburkan pengetahuan, tetapi hati orang bebal tidak jujur.”

    “Orang yang mencintai kesucian hati dan yang manis bicaranya menjadi sahabat raja.”

    “Jika engkau tawar hati pada masa kesesakan, kecillah kekuatanmu.”

  • dustyswan 8:44 am on September 27, 2009 Permalink | Reply
    Tags: citra diri perempuan urban, egocentric, egocentric and narcissistic women, fenomena wanita perkotaan, perempuan narsis, psikologi perempuan, psikologi wanita urban, sense of fabulousness in women, The ego epidemic: How more and more of us women have an inflated sense of our own fabulousness, urban women body image, urban women psychology   

    The ego epidemic: Us women have an inflated sense of our own fabulousness 

    Us women are more egocentric and narcissistic than we ever used to be, according to extensive research by two leading psychologists.

    More of us have huge expectations of ourselves, our lives and everyone in them. We think the universe resolves around us, with a deluded sense of our own fabulousness, and believe we are cleverer, more talented and more attractive than we actually are.

    We have trouble accepting criticism and extending empathy because we are so preoccupied with ourselves.

    Actresses Kim Cattrall, Cynthia Nixon, Sarah Jessica Parker and Kristin Davis on location for the new movie 'Sex and the City 2' Got it all: Actresses Kim Cattrall (left to right), Cynthia Nixon, Sarah Jessica Parker and Kristin Davis on location for the new movie ‘Sex and the City 2’

    Am I making you angry by telling you this? It figures. Narcissistic or egotistical women do have an overwhelming sense of entitlement and arrogance.

    Of course, I joke, but researchers say there is growing evidence of an epidemic of ego-itis everywhere.

    Once a traditionally male syndrome, narcissism generally begins at home and in schools, where children are praised excessively, often spoiled rotten and given the relentless message that they are ‘special’.

    Psychology professors Jean Twenge and Keith Campbell analysed studies on 37,000 college students in 2006.

    In a survey, 30 per cent of them said they believed they should get good grades simply for turning up.

    NET WORTH: Facebook is a boon for those with narcissistic traits, who use the networking site for self-promotion, says a recent study

    And it’s not just about how intelligent they think they are. In the workplace, in friendships, even in motherhood, the pervading culture seems to have become one of competitiveness, superiority and one-upmanship.

    But the sphere in which the signs of self-obsession are perhaps most obvious, and the consequences most immediately felt, is the dating one.

    In a recent magazine article, four women in their late 20s and 30s shared their thoughts about why they were still single. A 39-year-old beauty director claimed to be too independent for a relationship.

    A 38-year-old music agent attributed her single status to the fact she was an alpha female – independent, feisty, strong-minded, high-achieving and intimidating.

    Graphic of a woman looking at her reflection in a heart-shaped pondMirror, mirror: Are woman increasingly believing that the universe revolves around them?

    She pointed out that she owned a gorgeous flat with gorgeous things in it, had a nice car, was a member of a fancy gym and wore designer dresses. ‘I do what I like, when I like,’ she said.

    She’d been told, and appears to believe, that she’s too successful and too well-educated for most men.

    The third woman, a 30-year- old arts writer and curator, has been having too much fun to settle down.

    Another, a 29-year-old, said she was too picky. She was looking for a guy who is (just) tall enough. And (just about) good-looking enough (but not too good-looking so that she’d play second fiddle).

    He needs to be successful, solvent and driven. He must also be long on genuinely good jokes, with a decent sideline in bad ones that only she finds funny.

    He needs to ‘speak good restaurant’, to have no special dietary requirements and to always be discerning without ever being fussy.

    A businesswoman sits on a chair with a sheet of paper in her handMe, me, me: The workplace is one area where women can develop an over-inflated view of themselves

    He needs to be clever without ever making her feel stupid. He needs to ‘get’ but not ‘know’ fashion…and so the list went on.

    She concluded that she would rather eat wasps than share her Sunday with anyone who fails to measure up to her idea of Mr Perfect.

    Of course, there is nothing wrong with having high expectations. But being delusional and having a totally unrealistic blueprint are an altogether different matter.

    And they often go hand in hand with acute ego-itis. As Margot Medhurt knows only too well.

    She is the founder of Yours Sincerely, an Edinburgh-based personal dating and introduction agency for professionals. She has almost 30 years’ experience in the industry and has noticed a significant rise in this phenomenon in recent years.

    ‘It used to be that most women who joined a dating agency had a pretty good idea of where they stood in the eligibility stakes,’ she said. ‘But in the past few years, I’ve noticed that there are a significant number of women who don’t.

    ‘They tend to be in their 30s, and there is a wide discrepancy between how they perceive themselves and how others see them.

    ‘They are often very plain, but see themselves as being absolutely fabulous, exceptional people.

    ‘They invariably reject every guy’s profile I send them. But if a guy rejects their profile, there is all hell to pay. There is disbelief. They are really saying: “I’m so fabulous. How dare he turn me down?”

    ‘In the past few years, I’ve noticed a real sense of entitlement among this small group of women. The idea that a guy might not find them as amazing as they find themselves doesn’t enter their head.

    ‘They often become indignant and angry towards me, demanding to know why a guy dared to turn them down. Most people simply accept the facts of the dating game: some people will find you attractive and others won’t, in the same way that you’ll be drawn to some but not others.

    Women today think the universe revolves around them and have a deluded sense of their abilities

    ‘These women, however, are unable to get their heads around the fact that the rest of the world might not share the distorted, inflated view they have of themselves.’

    She said she had a eureka moment when she read a recent article about the rise in narcissism among women.

    According to the American research, there has been a 67 per cent increase in it over the past two decades, mainly among women.

    An estimated ten per cent of the population suffers from narcissism as a full-blown personality disorder.

    The symptoms include: a grandiose sense of self-importance; the belief that he or she is special or unique and in some way better – either intellectually or physically – than others; a requirement for excessive admiration; a sense of entitlement, whether to fame, fortune, success and happiness or simply to special treatment; enviousness of others or a belief that others are envious of him or her; an inability to empathise; an inability to admit a mistake; and haughty behaviour or attitude.

    A couple share vegetables during a roast dinner mealFood for thought: One woman said she would not share time with a man unless he was her ideal of Mr Perfect

    What researchers have also identified, and are far more worried about, is what has been described as ‘normal’ narcissism – a cultural shift that has seen even non-narcissistic people seduced by the emphasis on material wealth, physical appearance and celebrity worship.

    The researchers believe our culture brings out narcissistic behaviour in almost all of us.

    They blame the internet (where ‘fame’ is a click away), reality television (where the lure of fame without talent is most prevalent), easy credit (which enables people to buy far beyond their ability to pay), celebrity worship, our highly consumerist, competitive and individualistic society, and a generation of indulgent parents who have raised their children to think they’re special, amazing and perfect.

    According to Twenge, this focus on self-admiration has caused a cultural flight from reality to the land of grandiose fantasy.

    We have phony rich people (who actually have massive mortgages and piles of debt), phony beauty (via plastic surgery), phony celebrities (via reality TV and YouTube), phony genius students (with grade inflation) and phony friends (with the social networking explosion).

    TOP DOG: Narcissists are most likely to end up in leadership roles despite the fact they often don’t make good leaders, according to a U.S. survey

    ‘I had noticed this trend, but wasn’t really sure what it was all about,’ says Margaret Medhurt.

    ‘However, when I read that article and thought about the unrealistic expectations and sense of entitlement among some of the women, it really struck a chord.

    ‘One of the cases that brought it home to me involved a 38-year-old businesswoman.

    ‘I knew there were going to be problems right away. As soon as someone joins the agency, we get things moving very quickly – but this wasn’t quick enough for this woman.

    ‘She wanted a date immediately. The first man I sent her profile to declined an introduction and she was extremely cross. She couldn’t accept it and she couldn’t even be polite about it.

    ‘In three weeks, three men turned her down. I explained that it takes time to meet someone but she just got angrier and angrier. She was demanding to know why these guys did this. I was trying to get the balance right – between being honest with her and being tactful.

    ‘I think, ultimately, she had a very flawed perception of herself. And she almost couldn’t bear that it was being challenged. It was as if she couldn’t deal with the fact that some guys didn’t think she was amazing – and she left.’

    Men, traditionally regarded as the more self-centred of the species and the rogues of the mating game, are left scratching their heads and pondering Freud’s famous question: what do women want?

    David Baxter (not his real name) is a 40-year-old management consultant. Previously married for nine years, he joined a dating agency in the summer.

    He says he’s not perfect, but is told he’s an eligible and pleasant guy with a lot to offer.

    ‘I’ve had three successive dates recently with ladies in the late 30s to early 40s age bracket that have left me dumbfounded,’ he said.

    I’ve never come across such massive egos, such arrogance and lack of basic courtesy.

    ‘It was as if these particular dates were a forum for them to tell me how exceptional they were. One told me repeatedly how many young guys at the gym asked her out; another was very artificial.

    ‘You sensed that they absolutely worshipped themselves, though none of them was drop-dead gorgeous or had amazing personalities, jobs or anything else to set them apart and elevate themselves into some superior position.

    ‘I also thought it was quite telling that none of them had ever been married, engaged or had recently – or perhaps ever – been in a long-term relationship.

    ‘I got the feeling that these women were living in a Sex And The City-inspired fantasy world. I also sensed that nobody would ever be good enough for them.

    ‘They seem to be looking for something that doesn’t exist: Mr Perfect, or perhaps some larger-than-life, dashingly handsome and unattainable character such as that portrayed by Mr Big. Nothing else will do.’

    Despite his recent experience, David still considers himself lucky.

    ‘I’m still positive about the whole thing, but I have friends who are not so optimistic and it’s evident that encounters with these sort of women seriously erode their self-confidence, which is a real shame. There are a lot of genuine, decent guys out there who are getting a rough deal.’

    Neil Hay is a 32-year-old former professional golfer-turned-financial consultant who lives on the outskirts of .

    After taking some time out following the death of his mother, he joined a dating agency almost a year ago.

    ‘It’s made me terribly cynical, not just about the way women are, but also about what on earth it is that they are looking for in a guy,’ he said.

    ‘Of course, we all have standards and preferences. There’s nothing wrong with that. But most of us are also realistic. We know that Cheryl Cole is out of our league.

    ‘I had been hoping to meet someone who was quite nice-looking, with a good personality, someone to go for dinner and to the cinema and have a decent conversation with. But I’m left feeling that this isn’t what women are looking for.

    ‘It’s as if they want to be swept off their feet right from the first date, as if they’re waiting for someone like Brad Pitt or George Clooney. They’re not interested in a regular, normal, decent guy. That’s not good enough for them.

    ‘I spent three hours on a date with one woman. I thought we got on brilliantly, but then she said she didn’t want to meet again.

    ‘This has happened a few times. It makes me think that if you don’t live up to their perfect fantasy, then that’s it. It’s game over before you’ve even had any chance to begin to get to know each other.

    ‘It does dent your confidence. I’m left thinking either that there’s something wrong with me or that I’ll just never be whatever it is that these women are looking for.

    ‘I know there are a lot of single women who say things like they’re too independent, too feisty, too confident or too successful for men. Or they claim that men are intimidated by strong, intelligent and independent women.

    ‘But this is simply not the case. I think they just tell themselves this. It’s a way of rationalising things. It’s as if it’s easier for them to believe their own myths than to face reality – that they are completely ordinary.'(Lucy Taylor, dailymail.co.uk)

  • dustyswan 1:26 am on August 29, 2009 Permalink | Reply
    Tags: Retail Therapy Linked to Depression, terapi belanja terkait dengan depresi   

    Retail Therapy Linked to Depression 

    Depression Triggers an Urge for Retail Therapy
    Depression Triggers an Urge for Retail Therapy

    By Marene Gustin

    Okay, we kind of already knew this, but just in case you were wondering there’s now a study to confirm that depression can lead to spending too much money. (Also, massive consumption of Ben & Jerry’s ice cream.)

    Researchers from Carnegie Mellon, Harvard, Stanford, and the University of Pittsburgh showed 33 volunteers a video clip of either grief following a tragic death or a nature scene. Afterwards they were given a chance to buy a sports water bottle. Those who had seen the sad clip offered 300 times more money for the bottle than the rest. (We can only imagine the outcome if the purchase had been shoes.)

    One long-time researcher of retail therapy suggested further study is needed to see if buying actually makes people feel better.

    “We suspect that even if it does make them feel better, it’s only in the short term,” said Beverly Hills psychiatrist Dr. Carole Lieberman.

    Check out the June issue of Psychological Science for the full published report.

    They probably could have saved a lot of effort by just studying Britney Spears, who took time out of her public meltdown last month to buy a Mercedes Benz SLK350. Which, even at $55,000, didn’t seem to help too much.

  • dustyswan 12:04 pm on August 27, 2009 Permalink | Reply
    Tags: 40% of Girls Between Ages 6 and 12 Unhappy With Their Appearance, body philosophy, gambar diri anak kecil, girl's body image, girls' self image   

    40% of Girls Between Ages 6 and 12 Unhappy With Their Appearance 

    Little Girl

    By Erin Donnelly

    You fixate on your “bat wing” arms. You never leave the house without Spanx on, lest anyone catch so much as a sliver of belly bulge. And those elbows of yours? Soooooo fat – at least in your mind.

    Hey, we all tend to obsess about our not-so-perfect bodies. Even, it seems, little girls.

    According to a new poll from BBC TV’s Newsround, 40% of girls between the ages of 6 and 12 are unhappy with their appearance. One in four said they would like to be thinner, 15% want to be taller or change their facial features, and a quarter dislike their hair.

    In response, The Daily Mail surveyed a panel of young girls about their fixations with their figures. The girls’ comments reveal deep insecurities about their bodies.

    “My problem is the top of my legs and my bottom, which sticks out,” says nine-year-old Harriet Buck. “I would like a smaller bottom because I find it difficult to fit into some jeans. Ideally, I would like my legs to be slimmer all over and then I could wear what I wanted. Instead, when I go shopping it’s hard to find jeans that look really nice, and I can’t wear very short skirts.”

    Twelve-year-old Kathleen Bartha also expressed unhappiness with her body.

    “Whenever I look in the mirror I feel really tearful,” Kathleen says. “My legs are too big to fit well into some trousers, and I feel my stomach isn’t flat enough. Mostly I think I would look a lot better if I were thinner all over. My friends and family tell me I am skinny, but I don’t believe them and I think mum only says it to make me feel better. If I try to diet and not eat so much, mum stops me. But then I read magazines and see the celebrities and wish that I was thin like they are.”

    Maria Daly, also 12, sees plastic surgery as her best option.

    “Although I like Kate Moss because she is slim, my main wish would be to have bigger boobs,” she says. “Mine aren’t big enough at the moment. If I get to 20 and my boobs are still small, I will have a boob job.”

    Even 6-year-old Ilana Pecino spoke of altering her appearance, saying that she’d like to straighten her naturally curly hair “like my favorite singer, Shakira.” The tyke also admits to worrying that too much chocolate will make her fat.

    But don’t pin all the blame on Barbie. The girls’ parents cite outside factors like skimpy children’s apparel, Bratz dolls, shows like “America’s Next Top Model,” and teen magazines as encouraging young girls to focus on their appearance.(http://www.body-philosophy.net/)

  • dustyswan 3:21 am on August 26, 2009 Permalink | Reply
    Tags: , childhood obesity, citra diri pada anak, , Five-year-old girls 'weight conscious', gambar diri pada anak, , Girls as young as five are conscious about their weight and think about dieting, , kesadaran diri pada anak-anak, , ,   

    Five-year-old girls 'weight conscious' 


    Young children are conscious of what they eat

    Girls as young as five are conscious about their weight and think about dieting, says a nutrition expert.

    Professor Leann Birch, of Pennsylvania State University, has warned that even young children are not immune to the pressure on females to be slim.

    She told a conference on child nutrition in Glasgow that environmental factors played a much more major impact on childhood obesity than genetics.

    Girls have more concerns than boys about being thin

    Professor Leann Birch, Pennsylvania State University

    Speaking at the Update on Childhood Nutrition Conference in Glasgow, Professor Birch said parents should not put pressure on their children to eat certain foods.

    Professor Birch found boys and girls have different attitudes to their weight and what they eat.

    She said: “Girls have more concerns than boys about being thin and they are also more vulnerable to chronic dieting and binge eating in later life.

    “Of all the girls who said they were knowledgeable about dieting, virtually all of them were aware of it as their mothers were on some form of diet.”

    Professor Birch said parents should persist in feeding their children healthy foods which they might initially appear to dislike.

    No junk food

    She said junk food should be avoided.

    She said: “What children want to eat is at variance with what their parents want them to eat.

    “However, parents should be patient and not just assume that because a child rejects something one day that they will never like it.

    “Children can only learn to prefer certain foods if they are made available to them.

    “Similarly, parents should not restrict children’s access to foods they believe to be unhealthy as this has the opposite effect.

    “We have shown that it actually increases the child’s intake of restricted food.”

    Obesity rates among children in the US have doubled in the past decade.

    Professor Birch warned that a similar situation could easily occur in the UK.

    She said: “Childhood obesity is a huge problem in America with around 25% overweight.

    “In Britain the comparative figure is around 15% and it appears to be catching up with the US.”

    She said obese children usually had diets that were too high in fat, and too low in fruit and vegetables.

    Obesity leads to a range of health problems such as diabetes, kidney damage, poor vision and bad circulation.(news.bbc.co.uk)

  • dustyswan 1:57 am on July 26, 2009 Permalink | Reply
    Tags: bagaimana percaya diri, Body Image, body image repair room, citra diri, faktor pembentuk kepercayaan diri, feel good about ourselves, gambar diri, kiat percaya diri, membangun kepercayaan diri, Self-esteem actually has nothing to do with your achievements, What Creates Self-Esteem?   

    What Creates Self-Esteem? 



    We all want to feel good about ourselves but many of us go about this in the ways that will never create self-esteem.

    Do you believe that you will have high self-esteem when:

    • You make a lot of money?

    • You achieve a high position in your work?

    • You have an expensive car or an expensive home?

    • You are famous?

    • You find the right relationship?

    • You receive approval from the important people in your life?

    While all of these can result in momentary good feelings, none of them create a deep and abiding sense of self-esteem.

    Self-esteem actually has nothing to do with your achievements or with other people. Self-esteem results from two things regarding your inner relationship with yourself:

    • How you see yourself

    • How you treat yourself

    Richard, a client of mine, is a very successful businessman. He is wealthy, lives is a big house, has expensive cars, a lovely wife and three children. But Richard consulted with me because of his low self-esteem. He was perplexed that he continued to feel so inadequate in spite of all that he had achieved and all that he had.

    As we worked together, it became apparent that, no matter what the outer truth was, Richard continued to see himself as the inadequate child his father told him he was. His inner dialogue was often self-critical, just as his father had been with him. And not only did Richard constantly judge himself as his father had judged him, he treated himself as his father had treated him – ignoring his own feelings and needs. As a result, Richard was always looking to others for the attention and approval that he didn’t receive from his father and was not giving to himself. Instead of being a loving parent to the child within him, he was a harsh and inattentive inner parent.

    Jackie, another client of mine, is a very successful actress. Yet fame and fortune have not given her self-esteem. No matter how many people tell her how beautiful and talented she is, she still feels inadequate and insecure most of the time. This is because, on the inner level, Jackie is constantly telling herself that she is stupid. “How could I have made that stupid remark!” “How could I have acted so stupid?” Mirroring her mother’s own self-judgments and her judgments toward Jackie, she is constantly putting herself down. Until Jackie learns to see herself through eyes of truth rather than eyes of judgment, she will continue to feel inadequate and insecure.

    It might make it easier to see how you create your own high or low self-esteem if you think of your feeling self as a child within. No matter how much you achieve or how much approval you get from others, if you are treating your inner child badly – by ignoring your feelings and judging yourself – you will continue to feel inadequate. If you continue to see yourself through the distorted eyes of your parents, siblings, peers or teachers, and continue to treat yourself the way they treated you or the way they treated themselves, you will continue to have low self-esteem. If you open to seeing the truth of who you really are – a beautiful divine soul who just wants to love – then you will treat yourself as you would treat anyone whom you saw as a beautiful divine soul. When you take loving action in your own behalf, you will feel valued rather than inadequate. Loving actions might include:

    • Speaking up for yourself with others and telling your truth without blame or judgment in conflict situations.

    • Taking care of your body through eating well, getting enough exercise, enough sleep, and so on.

    • Creating a balance between work, rest, play and creative time.

    • Treating yourself and others with respect and compassion rather than with judgment.

    • Attending to – rather than ignoring – your own feelings and needs.

    • Taking the time to pray and meditate.

    • Choosing to notice your thoughts and practicing inner self-discipline regarding your thoughts.

    When taking loving action in your own behalf replaces your inattentive and judgmental behaviour toward yourself, you will feel high self-esteem.

    Author:Margaret Paul, Ph.D. innerbonding.com

  • dustyswan 7:37 am on July 9, 2009 Permalink | Reply
    Tags: analisa citra diri, analisa gambar diri, analisa psikologis citra diri, gambar diri yang rusak ciri masyarakat modern, great pressure to look a certain way and body image issues, Poor Body Image : Modern Day Epidemic, Psychology Today   

    Poor Body Image : Modern Day Epidemic 

    100 (2)At most colleges, many students find the competition outside of the classroom just as challenging as inside the classroom. There is great pressure to look a certain way and body image issues may develop because of these expectations. Body image is more than just how someone feels about their body. It is a mental representation of how one feels about themselves and is influenced by feelings, behaviors, thoughts, self-esteem, and the world around us. A survey by Psychology Today found that 24% of women would trade three years of their life and 15% would trade five or more years of their life if they could be their ideal weight. This demonstrates what a drastic effect body image and weight can have on a person.

    There are numerous factors in how a person feels about their body. Some of these include:

    • Size Prejudice

    In American culture there is a great deal of emphasis placed on body weight, size, and appearance. Children are beaten up and ridiculed for being fat. Fat people are discriminated against in job selection and overlooked for promotions. We are conditioned at an early age to believe that self-worth is derived by these external characteristics. Thinness is often associated with being hard-working, successful, popular, beautiful, strong, and self-disciplined. On the other hand, being fat is often associated with being lazy, ignorant, hated, ugly, weak, and lacking will-power. These stereotypes are common in our society. As a result, we often unfairly judge others and label them based on their size alone. We often believe that if we can just be thinner, we can be happier, more successful, and more accepted by society.

    • The Media

    The media sets unrealistic standards for what body weight and appearance is considered “normal.” These body ideals are reinforced every day on TV shows, movies, magazines, and even video games. The media’s portrayal of what is “normal” keeps getting thinner and thinner for women and more muscular for men. Twenty-five years ago, the average female model weighed 8% less than the average American woman. Currently, the average female model weighs 23% below her average weight. Similar trends are seen with men. With these images and body ideals, it’s little wonder that women and men feel inadequate, ashamed, and dissatisfied with how they look. The images of men and women in the media are intended to sell products. They are selling us dissatisfaction with our bodies in order to make a profit.

    • Parents, Friends, and Romantic Partners

    In college, you may feel great pressure to be thin or muscular in order to be accepted by your peers and to be attractive to potential romantic partners. If you’re living with a lot of other students in a sorority/fraternity house or residence hall, the pressure may be even greater. You may be surrounded by negative body talk from everyone. These comments can make you start worrying and feeling self-conscious about your own body. Body- and self-criticism are well-practiced rituals for a large number of college women. We bond over dieting together, comparing pinched inches of fat, and put ourselves and our appearance down. In this way, we reinforce each other’s insecurities about our bodies. If you’re an athlete, you may feel tremendous pressure to lose weight or body fat so you can make a specific weight class, be faster, or look more attractive to judges or an audience. The pressure may come from you, your teammates, your coach, and/or your parents. In any case, the message is clear, “you need to have a certain body to perform well and be considered a good athlete.”

    • Health Professionals

    Your weight is usually recorded at health clinics. This will result in the assignment of a label, like obese. Your doctor may suggest weight loss based on this number and label. They have good intentions. They are taught in their medical training about all of the perils of the “obesity epidemic”. While weight may reflect bad eating habits, a sedentary lifestyle, and poor health and fitness, they don’t always. There are large, “overweight” (but fit) people who eat a balanced diet, exercise regularly, and enjoy excellent health. If you have been a victim of this type of weight prejudice by the medical community, it’s understandable that your body image and self-esteem would suffer. You are being told by one of the most powerful and respected members of society that you are “diseased.” The guilt, shame, and self-loathing associated with such a label does nothing to support healthy eating, physical activity, and good health. In many cases, it can do just the opposite.

    Poor body image affects both men and women. One body-image study found that 45% of men were dissatisfied with their physiques; women were only slightly less satisfied at 55%. Both sexes experience low self-esteem and the development of eating disorders. Poor body image has been linked to anabolic steroid use in men, causing concern to public health researchers. It is alarming to find that almost. half of normal weight 3rd to 6th grade girls say they want to be thinner, a third have already restricted their eating to lose weight, and 78% say they are “very afraid of becoming fat.” Middle school boys search the internet for muscle building additives and worry that they do not have a “six-pack.”

    During college we are taught to analyze and scrutinize everything we read and see. We also apply these newly honed skills to ourselves. Looking inside ourselves and dealing with difficult issues is often rewarding and helpful but is also very hard work. Sometimes it’s easier to focus on how we look than what is within. College gives one the opportunity to “reinvent” themselves. We look to ideals for guidance about whom and what we should be. The ideals we find are often distorted. We continually find ourselves in situations in which appearance is important: We’re busy making first impressions, rushing sororities or fraternities, interviewing for jobs and internships, trying to impress professors and mentors, and looking for love.

    Feeling inadequate, unsexy, embarrassed, self-conscious, or uncomfortable because you fail to resemble an unattainable social ideal is time poorly spent. There is never a good reason to hate or feel ashamed of your body, and your weight is not a measure of your success or worthiness.(stateuniversity.com)

  • dustyswan 8:54 am on July 6, 2009 Permalink | Reply
    Tags: analisa psikologis dan fenomena pemutih kulit, analisa psikologis industri kecantikan, black communities worldwide against bleaching, Bleaching is often attributed to extreme low self-esteem, gambar diri yang rusak mendorong penggunaan pemutih kulit, kondisi psikologis perempuan asia, mengapa perempuan ingin putih, Michael Jackson has arguably become transracial, self hatred membuat perempuan ingin berkulit putih, self-hate phenomenon of skin-bleaching, Self-hatred leads to skin bleaching, tidak percaya diri membuat pemutih kulit laku   

    Self-hatred leads to skin bleaching 



    “When you are lighter, people pay more attention to you. It makes you more important and the rich men find you attractive,” the sentiments of an Accra-based woman with light skin and dark knuckles.

    Yet, the self-hate phenomenon of skin-bleaching is not limited to black women alone. The music fans of men like Michael Jackson and the famous Lumba Brothers, Charles Kwadwo Fosu (Daddy Lumba) and Nana Acheampong, have seen the skin of the stars go lighter and lighter with every album hit. Through multiple surgeries, Michael Jackson has arguably become transracial.

    Bleaching is often attributed to extreme low self-esteem, and a misplaced desire to be better appreciated.

    But, there is a growing repugnance within black communities worldwide against bleaching.

    “Skin Bleaching” is the term applied to the process of cosmetic methods used to whiten the skin. It has for a long time been considered a common practice in dark skinned women in sub-Saharan Africa although increasingly, some dark skinned men have also taken to skin bleaching.

    The ideology and implementation of “Skin Bleaching” has been highly criticised throughout its existence as it has negative connotations related to image, identity and race based aesthetics not to mention certain severe skin conditions associated with the long term use of skin bleaching cosmetics.

    According to a report last July by Ibram Rogers, however, the European aesthetics of beauty and social rank have reached the shores of Africa, and are wreaking psychological and physical havoc on residents of Accra, Ghana, two studies suggested.

    In two examinations conducted in 2005 by Jocelyn Mackey, an assistant professor of psychology at Southern Connecticut State University, more than 200 Ghanaian students aged 8 to 18 consistently equated attractiveness, opportunity, power and acceptance with lighter skin colour.

    “The results from this study speak to the impact that the social and cultural climate has on the self-esteem of the Ghanaian students,” Mackey says.

    Another study reveals that many Ghanaians are turning to harmful skin-bleaching products to lighten their skin in hopes of being perceived as more attractive and successful.

    Yaba A Blay, a doctoral candidate in Temple University’s African-American studies department, conducted a study last summer in which she surveyed approximately 600 residents of Accra and interviewed another 40 who reported bleaching their skin.

    Blay also interviewed government officials, medical personnel and product merchants, and reviewed public documents and media materials as source material for her dissertation, “Yellow Fever: Skin Bleaching and the Aesthetico-cultural Gendered Politics of Skin Color in Ghana.”

    “Despite attempts by the Ghanaian government to ban bleaching products and the extreme health risks including skin cancer, brain and kidney damage and sometimes death,  the practice of skin bleaching is seemingly on the rise,” says Blay.

    “It appears that in the context of global White supremacy, skin bleaching represents an attempt to gain access to the social status and mobility often reserved not only for whites, but for lighter-skinned persons of African descent.”

    This psychological phenomenon of extolling lighter skin is prevalent in black communities worldwide.

    “These perception are the result of learned behaviour and beliefs due to social factors and opportunities,” Mackey says. “Many Ghanaians who I spoke with believe that lighter skin is associated with wealth and power.”

    In the study on skin bleaching, Blay found that Ghanaian women tend to bleach their skin at a disproportionately higher rate than Ghanaian men. That”s because the white ideal is consistently promoted to female consumers, Blay says.

    Furthermore, Blay says the rational for skin bleaching is different for Ghanaian men and women.

    “Ghanaian women often admit to bleaching in order to look more beautiful, noticeable and fashionable, while Ghanaian men who report bleaching do so as a means to appear of higher status and to gain more respect,” she says.

    Ultimately, Blay says that a form of “commodity racism – the practice of using Whiteness to sell products to predominately Black consumers” is the underlying reason for the practice of skin bleaching.

    “It has greatly influenced Africans’ perceptions that with the assistance of particular products — bleaching creams — they can approximate Whiteness, and as such reap all of the benefits, whether actual or perceived, afforded to Whiteness,” she says.

    The origin of skin colour derives from a substance known as Melanin. Melanin determines areas of uneven pigmentation. It affects most people, regardless of ethnic background or skin colour. Skin may either appear lighter or darker than normal; there may be blotchy, uneven areas, patches of brown to gray discolouration or freckling.

    Such skin pigmentation disorders occur because the body produces either too much or too little melanin. Melanin is the pigment produced by melanocyte cells and is triggered by an enzyme called tyrosinase.

    Increasingly, people are becoming preoccupied with blocking the production of Melanin, thus are finding treatments which inhibit the production of tyrosinase, namely Hydroquinone, steroid and Mercury based treatments.

    Hydroquione treatments are considered safe, however if too much is applied, then irritations on the skin can be caused. However, in countries such as France the use of Hydroquione has been banned due to the fears of cancer risk that it can potentially cause.

    Although highly popular, the use of skin whitening products has come under heavy criticism due to the results that they can cause. One of the most detrimental effects that skin whitening products can have is the effect towards ones IQ. Skin whitening products, often contain neurotoxins such as Mercury and the aforementioned Hydroquinone as the main active ingredient.

    Some bleaching creams also contain steroids of medium-potent to potent strength such as betamethasone or clobetasol. These steroid containing creams tend to cause thinning of the skin, making it more prone to disorders and breakage on parts of the body where friction occurs.

    In some cases, skin lightening creams have been reported to cause acne and caused skin to become so delicate that it could be damaged even through a simple scratch. In other cases, these bleaching agents have ironically turned the skin black when applied over a long period of time.

    Although skin whitening may provide personal satisfaction in the form of perceived beauty, what should perhaps be readdressed is the negative effects that they can have both on body and mind.

    If they must be used either to treat skin discolourations, tone down dark spots or to cure other disorders, then users must be cautioned to keep off skin lightening products with hydroquinone, mercury and steroids and to apply only to affected areas of the skin.(thestatesmanonline.com)

  • dustyswan 8:47 am on July 6, 2009 Permalink | Reply
    Tags: The Nip/Tuck Talk, What Parents Tell Their Kids About Plastic Surgery   

    The Nip/Tuck Talk 



    What Parents Tell Their Kids About Plastic Surgery

    Tuesday, July 7, 2009
    // <![CDATA[//

    Have you had this conversation at home? “Mom, the other kids are picking on me at school. They say I’m fat.”

    “Oh, sweetheart. Kids can be cruel. The important thing to remember is that we love you. And we’re saving up for your lipo.”

    No? Good.

    Cosmetic surgery is certainly hot — as hot as ever. More than 12 million procedures were performed last year, according to the American Society of Plastic Surgeons. And while teens accounted for more than 200,000 of those (oy, a column for another time), most parents still believe a good “beauty’s on the inside” talk trumps an adolescent collagen injection any day.

    Starshine Roshell

    What’s good for the gosling, though, may not always fly for the goose. Having ridden the ole “love thyself” buggy about as far as it’ll go, lots of grown-ups opt for a nip or a tuck these days — then find themselves at a loss for how to explain it to their kids. How do you preach self-acceptance and practice self-alteration simultaneously?

    “I have yet to hear a really good, healthy conversation between a patient and a mature child,” says a friend who works in a plastic surgeon’s office. “From what I’ve observed, young kids get sent off to grandma’s for the week and the parents don’t really tell the kids what happened. Or I’ve heard, ‘This is something to help mommy feel healthier.’ ”

    If avoidance isn’t your thing, consider the controversial picture book published by Miami plastic surgeon Dr. Michael Salzhauer last year. My Beautiful Mommy aims to help women explain to their kids why they’re having elective surgery (her new nose will be “prettier”!) and why they may be bed-ridden and appear beat-up afterwards.

    But kids get trickier as they age. I had some unfortunately named “age spots” lasered off my face this summer and my 10-year-old lectured me about being happy with who I am. The nerve of this kid. I was downright delighted with who I was until the invitation to my high-school reunion arrived; then I was happy with who my dermatologist is.

    Another friend just added a tummy-tuck onto her already scheduled — and much dreaded — hysterectomy.

    “For me,” she says, “it was taking advantage of what I felt was a rather negative surgery and turning it into something that would actually make me feel better about myself.”

    The best part: Her 10-year-old son is the one who suggested it, having heard about such things on TV. His take on plastic surgery is as perfect as a pair of silicone gel implants. “If you want to make yourself look like Michael Jackson, it’s your choice,” he explains. “But as for a tummy tuck, if you’re trying to lose weight and absolutely nothing’s working, you might just want to try that.”

    Another friend, a single mom, gets Restylane and Botox injected every six months. Once, when childcare fell through, she took her five-year-old with her. “He was partly fascinated and partly horrified,” she says. “I told him I was getting vaccinations. He asked if it hurt. I said, ‘Yes, it hurts. But sometimes we have to see doctors to get better.’

    “It wasn’t exactly a lie,” she jokes. “It made me better looking.”

    The real reasons for her evasion were twofold. First, she knew he couldn’t yet comprehend complex motives like sexism, social pressures, and career demands. Second, she felt burdened as a child by shallow comments her own parents made about aging women — including her father exclaiming that he couldn’t stand cellulite.

    “Apparently, I am every bit as shallow as my folks,” she says. “But I am trying not to pass it on to my kid.” (independent.com)

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